Abortion Information—Teens

Abortion Abuse Advice & Information Service

Top Ten Questions Teenagers ask about sex


Selected content reprinted from John C. Willke M.D., Barbara H. Willke R.N., John Jefferson Davis Ph.D., David C. Reardon Ph.D., Abort73.com, Eternal Perspective Ministries, Abolish Human Abortion, Life Issues Institute, BlackGenocide.org, Heritage House '76, Inc. & The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform.

If sex feels so good, why do I feel so bad?

A popular song suggests “If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad”... but is that a statement or a question?

Everywhere you look sex is being hyped, most especially in movies; two people meet and before they even know each other's last name they're having sex. Most of the lyrics to popular music is about sex... and how great it is.

You're having sex, how does it make you feel? Used, Confused, Rejected, Guilty, Angry, Lonely, Scared, Sad?

If you experience one or more of these emotions, there is nothing wrong with you, in fact, most women your age if they were to answer truthfully, they would tell you the same thing.

Most women, want to connect and have a relationship with emotional intimacy, and that is good.

Many Women Many Guys
Want guys to care about them Want only to have sex; they have a very strong sex drive
Want a relationship that includes emotional intimacy (not intercourse) Think about sex a lot! That's how they're made
Want someone with whom they can share their feelings Will most likely try to pressure you into having sex
Want someone who will love them, and care for them without conditions They don't “have to” have sex they just “want to” have sex

You can and should, commit to NOT having sex until you marry. Doing so will help you to regain your self-respect, free you from the worry of STD and AIDS, unplanned pregnancy and much more. Enjoy the look on his face when you say, NO!

You CANNOT protect yourself from STD's. Anyone who says you can, is a LIAR! They claim that practicing safer sex reduces your risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases. LIES! Abstinence alone prevents sexually transmitted diseases. If you've done anything that puts you OR YOUR PARTNER at risk of infection, get tested and get any treatments and chose to stop living a life style that puts you at risk.

So why should I wait?

All of my friends are doing it!

A lame and very stupid argument...
If your friends had genital warts, would you want them too?

There's a myth about us being animals and just doing what comes naturally. Animals have sex only when it is time for them to reproduce. We are the only creatures on the planet who have sex for emotional and spiritual needs combined with a physical desire for each other.

Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and ends with the vision of “the wedding-feast of the Lamb.” Scripture speaks throughout of marriage and its “mystery”, its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end.

Sex is a marital act

Love does not equal sex, don't let anyone trick you or blackmail you into having sex. Slow down and think about the consequences, and never put yourself in a position that is difficult to get out of.

You alone have to decide the course of your life. You alone, can and should decide not to give in to the demand for sex. Look at the consequences of the shattered lives of those who have not waited. On your wedding night you will look into his eyes with love and honesty as you give him the purest gift...“your virginity” then you will understand the answer to the question, “why should I wait?”

How to say NO to sex

If you don't want to have sex, anyone who really likes you will respect your decision, even if you've had sex with them before. If your boyfriend or girlfriend says something like, “If you loved me you'd do it”, don't fall for it — it's emotional blackmail. However much you love or like them, you don't have to have sex with them to prove it.

Be sure that you mean NO! Don't back down

Sometimes the way you dress will make him think “maybe”, and he might think you're being playful, or hard-to-get, because of how you are dressed. If it's NO, then make sure he understands that.

Don't feel awkward about saying no to sex or kissing, touching or any other sexual activity. NO is an important word in sex and relationships. Find out how you can say no. Nobody has the right to make you go further than you want to. You also have every right to say no, at any point, whoever you're with. If you want to have sex but your boyfriend or girlfriend or friend doesn't, you must respect their feelings.

Keep your boyfriend method

If you already have a relationship, and maybe you have already had sex, you can decide to stop. Be open and forthright, tell him why. Your reasons might be moral, based on religious beliefs, preventing pregnancy, or 1 of 25 STD's. He will respect your convictions, if he doesn't don't let him shame you into changing your mind, if he's the right one, you can wait until the wedding night and so can he.